To Be Loving Means Becoming Lovable
To be loved, we must first become lovable in the way a newborn does, beaming her big bright, inviting grin to everyone present. Her face says, “Reach out and hug me.” Indeed, she knows lovable and so do her admirers.
Since we all want people to love us, it makes sense to try to be lovable like this smiling child. No one is put on this earth specifically to make another person happy, but it seems clear that to gain another’s love, we need to be lovable: kind, friendly and good-natured.
As St. Francis de Sales says, “You learn to love by loving.” In the act of loving another, a person finds love. Our steps in this process may be pleasing and open to finding love, we may still misstep and fall on our face. Yet, either teaches us how to love!
The learning experience from a misstep is that we were thinking more about me, rather than keeping the other person first. When we think about the person we love first, love comes naturally.
Looking over the crowd gathering to hear the scheduled talk, the sponsoring host asked the speaker, “How are you feeling?” The speaker responded, “Frightened!” The host asked, “Why? They just need what we all need, a little loving and some affirmation.” The speaker countered, “Well, why don’t they show it.” The host smiling said, “They may be in pain from loneliness or frustration. When we are in pain, we can only think of the pain.”
Whether awake or asleep, painfilled thoughts flood our minds. These distractions easily turn people inward. In these situations, acting engaged and lovable is extremely difficult to manage.
Everyone hides at times. When our pain limit is reached, and to escape further pain, people reach for their usual form of protection. How do we know someone is protecting themselves? When a person seems inauthentic and lacks appropriate compassion, there is a good chance they are protecting themselves.
Jesus would want his disciples to be genuine. If they sense that protection is happening, they need to step back and see how they can help their friend who may be waiting for someone to ask. He or she longs to be free of this protection and breath the air of a new life.
We can walk away or stay and love this person, hearing Jesus’ words, “Love God and love your neighbor as yourself.” As Robert Frost’s poem suggests, “choose the road less traveled” and make all the difference for you and your neighbor.
“If there's even a slight chance at getting something that will make you happy, risk it.” -Anonymous
