Every once in a while, I read something unexpected that surprises me.  I recently came across a thought from William Shakespeare’s Hamlet, which I thought would fit better in the writings of Trappist monk, Father Thomas Merton.  

The character Polonius is giving advice to his son who is leaving home for Paris.  He says: “To thine own self be true, and it must follow as the night follows day. Thou canst not be false to any man.”

In sharing these words to his son, Polonius encourages him to be genuine in his speech making sure it expresses a kindness towards others. He wants his son to speak always of his own and others’ best interests. What Polonius is asking his son to do is simply to display good old fashion integrity. In other words, do all this, but standup for yourself when necessary.

Saint Francis de Sales offers similar advice: “…be who you are and be that well as a testament to the master craftsman who created you.” Again, de Sales knows that in creating humans, God placed gifts within each of us. We do need to grow and share these gifts with others. Our creator suggested: “Seek and own them, never hide them.”

Despite a person’s unwillingness and reluctance to tell a friend who they really are, there is still a lingering desire to want to be understood. Most persons want desperately to be loved, but when they are not understood and loved by those whose love they need and desire, any sort of deep communication generates nervous and uncomfortable feelings.

If friendships and human love are to mature, there must be absolute honesty and mutual trust. If we hold back, even our positive truths, sooner or later, will be considered false. Dishonesty always has a way of coming back to haunt us and cause trouble.

 If persons enter relationships without planting the seeds of determination, mutual honesty, and openness, there can be no friendship and no growth. Instead, there is only adolescent bickering, jealousy, anger, and accusations.

As certain as the law of gravity stands true to this day, whoever is understood and loved will grow as a person. Whoever is separated and alienated will vanish in his or her self-manufactured cell. However, if you choose to take a chance and open up to another person because you love that person, then you will give as your first gift – Your Trust!

To thine own self be true. A good starting point for life and love.