A Moment From De Sales

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Loving your neighbor can begin by simply paying attention.

Paying attention is another way of loving our neighbors. Being attentive to another person tells them we acknowledge them, we are like them, and they are not alone.  Why?  Often enveloped as we are in the ups and downs of our own lives, we simply don’t see our neighbors even when they are directly in front of us. 

Even if we did, we probably do not have the time to get to know them.  Our own present moments are so filled with “our” important things that we have to attend to which leaves little room for any foreign intrusions on our jam-packed to do list!

The people paying attention to Jesus realized his unusual humanity.  It pointed to something that they craved.  Underneath, they aspired to the same things as Jesus. He was a good human who said things that enhanced his listeners.  “All spoke well of him” or “What kind of man is he?”  Even the centurion affirmed Jesus: “Surely, this was a righteous man.”  People paid attention to Jesus.

Jesus met everyone’s greatest need to be recognized, seen, heard, and above all, to be listened to.  An easy thing that is effortlessly overshadowed by everyday occurrences that take our attention. 

This kind of attention to neighbors can help us understand the “noises” that prevent us from hearing others’ woes, stories, fears, and needs.  These come in so many sizes and shapes that they deafen us to the noises our distraught neighbors may be carrying. 

Attentiveness to another human being has the strength to pull us from our crushing worries and qualms to be aware of what’s in another’s’ arms that he or she is currently carrying through life.  

All we have to do is smile, or be interested in a neighbor, and we are suddenly pulled into his or her story.  Its details have enough power to make us forget what’s in our present moment and to be drawn into the pain and suffering of our neighbor.  Our attentiveness to him or her helps us discover another human being who is more like us than we could have ever imagined.

No one has to be alone in the world.  In a way, our attentiveness is like Christ finding his lost sheep.  We leave our reality and are suddenly engaged in another’s life. In this way, we see he or she, facing the same challenges, the same shadowy dynamics, and the same fears that we face. 

And these two strangers become closer not because they look alike, but because their lives suddenly become similar.  Now are no longer a stranger to each other, but a fellow traveler. 

Could this be what loving your neighbor truly means? Namely, paying attention to another which leads to understanding, bonding, and finally, intimacy.  Indeed, Jesus knew what love your neighbor truly needs.  Now we have to find that same pathway by the way we love our neighbors.